Raptors hire Stefanski as executive VP (AP)
Posted on | Monday, October 31, 2011 | No Comments
The Toronto Raptors have hired Ed Stefanski as executive vice president of basketball operations. Stefanski was hired Wednesday. He will report to Raptors president and general manager Bryan Colangelo. Stefanski was fired last week as general manager of the Philadelphia 76ers. He had mixed results in four seasons, signing Elton Brand and Andre Iguodala to $80 million contracts and firing coach Eddie...
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Michael Beasley?s charity game lost key players, went very poorly
Enigmatic forward Michael Beasley has a not-undeserved reputation as a bit loopy, the sort of guy who's as likely to drop 25 points with ease as he is to check out of a game mentally and allow his team to lose comfortably. There's still hope that he can become a consistent contributor to a winning team, though, so every time he makes a move towards maturity it can be considered a positive.
Beasley's scheduled star-studded charity game was supposed to be one of those steps in the right direction. Instead, it went off this weekend about as poorly as it could have. From Jerry Zgoda for the Minneapolis Star-Tribune (via EOB):
Billed as the "Michael Beasley All-Star Classic," the evening instead became something more like "Michael Beasley, Friends and Acquaintances." Organizers promoted the appearance of NBA stars Kevin Durant, Kevin Love, John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins, but Beasley's Wolves teammates Wes Johnson, Anthony Randolph, Anthony Tolliver, Wayne Ellington, Lazar Hayward and lone other NBA player Dorell Wright showed in support instead. [...]
Organizers originally priced tickets at between $60 and $300, then changed them to $40 general admission, $100 for VIP reserve and $300 for court seats when it became clear Durant, Love, Wall and No. 2 overall pick Derrick Williams wouldn't play.
Net proceeds will go to St. Jude's and three Twin Cities area charities.
Organizers estimated the audience at 1,200 fans, which might have been a bit generous. Those fans watched the six Wolves players, Golden State's Wright, former WNBA player Tamara Moore and a smattering of summer-league players run and shoot until the Beasleys prevailed over the Visitors 179-170.
Given the apparent turnout and changes in price, let's hope the four charities end up with a decent haul. I'm not terribly optimistic, but that's never been a reason to lose hope.
Beasley's heart was in the right place with this charity game, and that's probably enough to put him in the good guy camp for at least a few months. But the fact that the event went so poorly in so many ways -- from exorbitant prices to high-profile no-shows -- doesn't bode well for Beasley's business acumen. Which, while it has little to do with emotional maturity, does suggest that Beasley has a long way to go before people stop treating him like a trusted veteran.
On a more general note, the difficulty of pinning down participants and logistics for the game should serve as a reminder that any ideas for a union-sanctioned professional basketball league depends on far more than just having players on board with the idea. Venues, cost structures, and commitments all take a long time to figure out. The NBA needs its players to survive, but the players need the league's infrastructure to earn the salaries they now believe they deserve. It's more of a give-and-take relationship than either side seems willing to admit.
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Vatican opposition to morally questionable sponsor could halt Bargnani?s move to Italy
European-born NBA players have had an advantage during the lockout. As American free agents attempt to find jobs overseas, players like Timofey Mozgov and Andrei Kirlenko have signed elsewhere with little problem. They know that world better than most and are more equipped to get a deal quickly with a franchise they know to be welcoming.
Raptors enigma Andrea Bargnani should be one of those players. Recently, he has attempted to work out a deal with Italian club Virtus Roma, which needed to work out a sponsorship deal to finance Bargnani's considerable salary. They finally found one in AshleyMadison.com, a perfectly normal website that helps people schedule extramarital affairs. What could ever be the matter with that?
Oh, right, Virtus Roma's facilities are right next to Vatican City, so the Catholic Church may have some sway over the decision. The Italian outlet Sportando reported the story in poorly translated English (via SLAM Online):
The deal to bring back to Italy and Virtus Roma, Andrea Bargnani is done. But the owner of the Italian team, Claudio Toti, did not say YES yet. The biggest problem is ethic. In a country where Vatican has big influence in any aspect of life (politics included), having as sponsor AshleyMadison.com, a website who promotes infidelity, is not easy. And Vatican City is also next to Virtus Roma facilities (the arena where the team is playing is also the main gym of the club).
As Noel Biderman said to La Stampa "It is good if the Church would not enter in the business world". Biderman, founder of the website AshleyMadison.com, who has been working for sports agency Interpeformances, explained also to Toronto Star why he is trying to bring Andrea Bargnani to Virtus Roma. "This pursuit came about for two reasons ? I have some good personal connections in Italy having worked for one of Europe's largest sports agencies (which is based there) and secondly, we have recently launched Ashley Madison into Italy ? its 16th country," Biderman said in an email.
Italy has a complicated relationship with sexual impropriety -- just ask Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who flaunts his love of women three times his juniors and would probably use AshleyMadison.com if his substantial fortune didn't render it irrelevant. Nevertheless, the Vatican has influence over these kinds of decisions, and if it has�a problem with the arrangement then Toti may well cancel it. Don't ask why he thought this idea was a good one in the first place. Presumably he likes families to come to the team's games.
If Toti does nix it, then Virtus Roma will need to find another sponsor, preferably one that will bring about no controversy whatsoever. Are there any companies in Italy that make chastity belts?
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When the end of the NBA lockout is nigh, sing a song y?all
We weren't in New York on Wednesday evening. Heck, we haven't been in New York in nearly four years, and the closest we came to being in New York on Wednesday�night was sending back smart-alecky Twitter Direct Messages to our friends that were staking out the NBA lockout negotiations in a Manhattan hotel for over 15 hours between Wednesday and early Thursday morning. We can no more tell you whether or not the end of the NBA's lockout is near than any other scribe you've likely read this morning; even considering the bits of anonymous stuff that is sent our way.
If you want a recap from Thursday morning, read Adrian Wojnarowski. That's our advice. He runs this.
Our second batch of advice?
Make this your own.
The NBA, and to a lesser extent the NBA's players, have screwed you over. Whether you're a well-heeled fan with courtside seats, the sort of follower who happily comes home to 10 box scores late on Wednesday night after work, or a fair-weather fan that would really like to have something to watch for a half-hour before heading out on Friday night, you haven't been treated well. If you're one of the thousands (we're talking five, or if worldwide accounts are anything, six figures here) who have been left missing paychecks because the NBA owners have locked out their players, you have been terribly mistreated. All of you, no matter the influence, are right to complain at best or give up on the NBA at worst.
But if you're going to stick around? Make this turnaround, especially if the lockout is resolved this week, your own.
This is where you try to affix a good feeling to a bad one. Where you remember what song you were listening to, what "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" rerun you were watching, when you saw the text from your buddy, or scanned past Woj's tweet on your phone. If last June's NBA Finals were the ultimate (if completely inaccurate) representation of good vs. evil, with Dallas triumphing over the Miami All-Stars, then the last four full months have been evil vs. pure evil. There has been nothing to take from this labor impasse.
So make your own take last. I'll start.
I wrote about the 1998 NBA lockout for a website. When you typed in "NBA" into the Yahoo! search engine back then, our website was one of six sites that popped up for perusal, and ours was an entirely amateur affair. Later, they'd call us a blog, if we'd hung around that long. As it was, I bashed together alternately frustrated and pleading tomes that documented a labor impasse that had gone all wrong. It wasn't a good time -- probably made worse by the fact that I couldn't legally buy beer back then. Also, we had to get our free mp3s through FTP sites, and it took me until December of 1998 to even figure that out. Oh, how we suffered.
The last day of the lockout? For some reason, my TweetDeck wasn't working, so I took the money I earned bagging groceries to Nike Town in Chicago and bought a pair of Cincinnati Bearcat shorts that I'm literally wearing (nearly 13 years later) as I type this. I snagged some Gary Payton-sponsored shoes and a litany of socks. In a van I listened to Steely Dan's "The Royal Scam," purchased through the years-old Amazon.com at that point, for the third time, and trudged around slushy downtown Chicago with older friends as if I knew what I was doing.
I awoke a day later, much too late, to drive back home to bag more groceries in one of my last few days off before heading back to University, happened upon CNN with my contact lenses out before my head got together, and learned that the NBA lockout was over. It was January 5th, and I was 250 miles away from my computer.
It should have been an awful day, frustrating and snowy and the culmination of a labor disagreement that should have ended months before. The 1998 free-agent class, in terms of sheer numbers, was the largest ever; and instead of 29 teams taking their time as they worked through the hundreds that were available, the league and its players were forced to take fewer than three weeks to figure out where about half its workforce was going to play for the next few years. Also, the worst season ever (don't let them tell you anything different -- it was flippin' miserable until the playoffs) was about to commence in the gray of February. I should have been ticked.
I wasn't, though. Such are the benefits of youth, and naivet�. Maybe it was the Jordan Brand Bearcat shorts. Maybe it was the tasty guitar work of Larry Carlton. Maybe it was the hope that Vlade Divac and Scottie Pippen would team with Jason Kidd in Phoenix. Maybe it was the idea that supposedly the Chicago Bulls were a few months removed from using all their cap space on a litany of expiring rookie deals for would-be superstars. Maybe I just missed basketball. Whatever the reason, I made that turn my own.
This is what I'm asking of you. I can't tell you if the end is nigh. We might not see a season. We may have to wait until February. This may end on early Sunday morning. This may never go away, or it could end within hours. The timeline doesn't matter.
When it does end, and it will end, you need to define it on your own terms. You need to make these memories your own. You need to take good things from the league that has taken nearly five months from you. And you do that by equaling your own good times, even if they just involve putting together enough to pay off a bill or enjoying a nice batch of homemade tacos, with the good times that should emanate from the prospect of eventual NBA basketball.
It's a stupid league. The lockout is the height of ridiculousness. None of this means anything.
You've made it this far, though. To the end of this ponderous column, and months living with this lockout. Your reward shouldn't just be to see the Hornets and Grizzlies in a little while, though that would be nice.
No, your reward should be whatever you make it. A new pair of basketball shorts. A mid-level cigar. A night out with your better half, or a spirited bout typing expletives at the lockout's driving forces on Twitter. Whatever your release, have fun with it.
Lord knows you deserve it.
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Bryant Gumbel: David Stern ?eager to be seen as a modern plantation overseer?
Any goodwill that David Stern may have created in his decades-long stewardship of the NBA has been shot to hell over the last few months. Not only has his ego reached a breaking point in negotiations with both players and the NBA's referee union, but his rhetoric and lack of good-faith negotiating has led to a lockout that's course is straying far, far away from the course we saw in the 1998 lockout. That labor dispute included conditions and changes to the collective bargaining agreement that were much more significant to the admittedly myriad and complicated changes the sides are trying to agree on in 2011.
No, Stern has not come off well. And he never wanted to save the beginning of the 2011-12 NBA season. But he's also not a "plantation overseer," as HBO's Bryant Gumbel called him in an otherwise-sane monologue towards the end of his show on Tuesday:
Now, it should be pointed out that Gumbel isn't calling NBA players "slaves," nor is he saying that Stern has been successful in turning the NBA into a plantation of sorts. He's just pointing out that Stern, especially over the last decade, has gone out of his way to give a shrug of the shoulders to the otherwise fair-weather fans when things go wrong with the players his league employs.
Stern is quick to align himself with the types that fill up the NBA's complaint box when things go wrong. And when it comes time for the NBA's yearly speech about how wonderful things are going, Stern rarely discusses the abilities of his All-Stars (as he did in speeches during the 1990s that I recall), talking instead about global growth and how well NBA.com is doing.
I wouldn't take it as far as Gumbel did, because it's clear Stern doesn't want to take it as far as Gumbel thinks he does. And although Gumbel could and probably should have used less inflammatory rhetoric (if only so that people listen to the entirety of his argument), there can and should be no dispute about how Stern sees himself as a caretaker of sorts.
Not of the game, mind you. That's of little concern to him at this point. But his 30 owners, and the reputation of their respective income streams when some small forward does something stupid.
(Via PBT.)
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When the end of the NBA lockout is nigh, sing a song y?all
Posted on | Sunday, October 30, 2011 | No Comments
We weren't in New York on Wednesday evening. Heck, we haven't been in New York in nearly four years, and the closest we came to being in New York on Wednesday�night was sending back smart-alecky Twitter Direct Messages to our friends that were staking out the NBA lockout negotiations in a Manhattan hotel for over 15 hours between Wednesday and early Thursday morning. We can no more tell you whether or not the end of the NBA's lockout is near than any other scribe you've likely read this morning; even considering the bits of anonymous stuff that is sent our way.
If you want a recap from Thursday morning, read Adrian Wojnarowski. That's our advice. He runs this.
Our second batch of advice?
Make this your own.
The NBA, and to a lesser extent the NBA's players, have screwed you over. Whether you're a well-heeled fan with courtside seats, the sort of follower who happily comes home to 10 box scores late on Wednesday night after work, or a fair-weather fan that would really like to have something to watch for a half-hour before heading out on Friday night, you haven't been treated well. If you're one of the thousands (we're talking five, or if worldwide accounts are anything, six figures here) who have been left missing paychecks because the NBA owners have locked out their players, you have been terribly mistreated. All of you, no matter the influence, are right to complain at best or give up on the NBA at worst.
But if you're going to stick around? Make this turnaround, especially if the lockout is resolved this week, your own.
This is where you try to affix a good feeling to a bad one. Where you remember what song you were listening to, what "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" rerun you were watching, when you saw the text from your buddy, or scanned past Woj's tweet on your phone. If last June's NBA Finals were the ultimate (if completely inaccurate) representation of good vs. evil, with Dallas triumphing over the Miami All-Stars, then the last four full months have been evil vs. pure evil. There has been nothing to take from this labor impasse.
So make your own take last. I'll start.
I wrote about the 1998 NBA lockout for a website. When you typed in "NBA" into the Yahoo! search engine back then, our website was one of six sites that popped up for perusal, and ours was an entirely amateur affair. Later, they'd call us a blog, if we'd hung around that long. As it was, I bashed together alternately frustrated and pleading tomes that documented a labor impasse that had gone all wrong. It wasn't a good time -- probably made worse by the fact that I couldn't legally buy beer back then. Also, we had to get our free mp3s through FTP sites, and it took me until December of 1998 to even figure that out. Oh, how we suffered.
The last day of the lockout? For some reason, my TweetDeck wasn't working, so I took the money I earned bagging groceries to Nike Town in Chicago and bought a pair of Cincinnati Bearcat shorts that I'm literally wearing (nearly 13 years later) as I type this. I snagged some Gary Payton-sponsored shoes and a litany of socks. In a van I listened to Steely Dan's "The Royal Scam," purchased through the years-old Amazon.com at that point, for the third time, and trudged around slushy downtown Chicago with older friends as if I knew what I was doing.
I awoke a day later, much too late, to drive back home to bag more groceries in one of my last few days off before heading back to University, happened upon CNN with my contact lenses out before my head got together, and learned that the NBA lockout was over. It was January 5th, and I was 250 miles away from my computer.
It should have been an awful day, frustrating and snowy and the culmination of a labor disagreement that should have ended months before. The 1998 free-agent class, in terms of sheer numbers, was the largest ever; and instead of 29 teams taking their time as they worked through the hundreds that were available, the league and its players were forced to take fewer than three weeks to figure out where about half its workforce was going to play for the next few years. Also, the worst season ever (don't let them tell you anything different -- it was flippin' miserable until the playoffs) was about to commence in the gray of February. I should have been ticked.
I wasn't, though. Such are the benefits of youth, and naivet�. Maybe it was the Jordan Brand Bearcat shorts. Maybe it was the tasty guitar work of Larry Carlton. Maybe it was the hope that Vlade Divac and Scottie Pippen would team with Jason Kidd in Phoenix. Maybe it was the idea that supposedly the Chicago Bulls were a few months removed from using all their cap space on a litany of expiring rookie deals for would-be superstars. Maybe I just missed basketball. Whatever the reason, I made that turn my own.
This is what I'm asking of you. I can't tell you if the end is nigh. We might not see a season. We may have to wait until February. This may end on early Sunday morning. This may never go away, or it could end within hours. The timeline doesn't matter.
When it does end, and it will end, you need to define it on your own terms. You need to make these memories your own. You need to take good things from the league that has taken nearly five months from you. And you do that by equaling your own good times, even if they just involve putting together enough to pay off a bill or enjoying a nice batch of homemade tacos, with the good times that should emanate from the prospect of eventual NBA basketball.
It's a stupid league. The lockout is the height of ridiculousness. None of this means anything.
You've made it this far, though. To the end of this ponderous column, and months living with this lockout. Your reward shouldn't just be to see the Hornets and Grizzlies in a little while, though that would be nice.
No, your reward should be whatever you make it. A new pair of basketball shorts. A mid-level cigar. A night out with your better half, or a spirited bout typing expletives at the lockout's driving forces on Twitter. Whatever your release, have fun with it.
Lord knows you deserve it.
Dave Bing Larry Bird Wilt Chamberlain Bob Cousy Dave Cowens
Michael Beasley?s charity game lost key players, went very poorly
Enigmatic forward Michael Beasley has a not-undeserved reputation as a bit loopy, the sort of guy who's as likely to drop 25 points with ease as he is to check out of a game mentally and allow his team to lose comfortably. There's still hope that he can become a consistent contributor to a winning team, though, so every time he makes a move towards maturity it can be considered a positive.
Beasley's scheduled star-studded charity game was supposed to be one of those steps in the right direction. Instead, it went off this weekend about as poorly as it could have. From Jerry Zgoda for the Minneapolis Star-Tribune (via EOB):
Billed as the "Michael Beasley All-Star Classic," the evening instead became something more like "Michael Beasley, Friends and Acquaintances." Organizers promoted the appearance of NBA stars Kevin Durant, Kevin Love, John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins, but Beasley's Wolves teammates Wes Johnson, Anthony Randolph, Anthony Tolliver, Wayne Ellington, Lazar Hayward and lone other NBA player Dorell Wright showed in support instead. [...]
Organizers originally priced tickets at between $60 and $300, then changed them to $40 general admission, $100 for VIP reserve and $300 for court seats when it became clear Durant, Love, Wall and No. 2 overall pick Derrick Williams wouldn't play.
Net proceeds will go to St. Jude's and three Twin Cities area charities.
Organizers estimated the audience at 1,200 fans, which might have been a bit generous. Those fans watched the six Wolves players, Golden State's Wright, former WNBA player Tamara Moore and a smattering of summer-league players run and shoot until the Beasleys prevailed over the Visitors 179-170.
Given the apparent turnout and changes in price, let's hope the four charities end up with a decent haul. I'm not terribly optimistic, but that's never been a reason to lose hope.
Beasley's heart was in the right place with this charity game, and that's probably enough to put him in the good guy camp for at least a few months. But the fact that the event went so poorly in so many ways -- from exorbitant prices to high-profile no-shows -- doesn't bode well for Beasley's business acumen. Which, while it has little to do with emotional maturity, does suggest that Beasley has a long way to go before people stop treating him like a trusted veteran.
On a more general note, the difficulty of pinning down participants and logistics for the game should serve as a reminder that any ideas for a union-sanctioned professional basketball league depends on far more than just having players on board with the idea. Venues, cost structures, and commitments all take a long time to figure out. The NBA needs its players to survive, but the players need the league's infrastructure to earn the salaries they now believe they deserve. It's more of a give-and-take relationship than either side seems willing to admit.
Willis Reed Oscar Robertson David Robinson Bill Russell Dolph Schayes
C-a-C Past Lives: Two Brians perform the greatest interpretive dance in NBA history
Gotta get�back in time ... Welcome to another edition of�Create-a-Caption Past Lives. Don't remember what they are? Then go�re-read the maiden voyage for a refresher, ya goof!
Obviously, you're intimately familiar with interpretive dance as an art form. You know that it encompasses a wide variety of rhythmic styles and aims to translate specific human feelings, emotions, situations or fantasies through physical movement and dramatic expression. I mean, duh ? you read basketball blogs.
What you might not know, though, is that on Dec. 31, 2003, moments before the dawn of a new year, Brian Scalabrine and Brian Cardinal came together and gave of their souls. They danced like no one was watching ? and considering it was a New Year's Eve game between the New Jersey Nets and Golden State Warriors, it's possible that no one was.
They told the story of a great love lost, or perhaps of a wise and ancient king overseeing his great land for the final time before dying, or maybe of the first time The Fly Girls took the "In Living Color" stage. I'm not really sure; I'm not very good at interpreting dance.�The point is, it was important.
It was moving. It was art. And its occurrence posed no danger to the outcome of the game, as none of the other eight players on the court even considered passing the ball to either Scalabrine or Cardinal.
Best caption wins lavish costumes, ribbons and spandex body suits to enhance their own interpretive dance storytelling efforts. Good luck.
In our last adventure: You know a photo of Shaquille O'Neal is good when it gives you two Filter songs as legitimate caption options. I'm going to go with, "Hey, man, nice shot," but that's mostly because I liked "The Spanish X-Files" when I was a kid.
Runner-up, D4tified: "I gotta be better at shooting pictures than shooting free throws."
NOTE: Based on his career numbers from the stripe, this is a pretty accurate zing, but as Shaq has said many times, "I make the pictures when they count." Not that we'd expect anything less from a "master of surveillance."
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Nicolas Batum wins Euroleague Week 2 MVP
With one spectacular play after another, supertalent Nicolas Batum made the first home game of the Turkish Airlines Euroleague season one to remember for the home fans in Nancy as the hosts pulled away to their first victory, 87-73 over Bizkaia Bilbao Basket on Thursday. Batum not only played nearly the entire game and flirted [...]
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Cavs forward Christian Eyenga to play in Spain during lockout
Christian Eyenga has become the second Cavalier to sign with an overseas club during the NBA lockout. A third Cav could be right behind him.
Eyenga agreed to a deal with the Spanish side Joventut Badalona, according to a tweet from his agent Andy Miller. The swingman can return to the Cavaliers once the NBA work [...]
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League source says an 82-game schedule could still happen
When the NBA canceled the first two weeks of its season, the assumption was that those games were never coming back and the league would adjust its schedule to feature fewer than the normal 82 games. Cancellation is not postponement.
At least one report suggests that this might not be the case. In fact, if the league reaches a deal with the union soon,�it may still play a full schedule. From KC Johnson for the Chicago Tribune:
Another league source said that, despite Stern's cancellation, there still is a possibility an 82-game schedule can be salvaged in a lengthened season that would stretch into July. That is, if progress continues to the point a deal is made this week.
It would be a minor miracle for there to be 82 games, in part because it seems unlikely a deal can be reached that soon. Which, oddly enough, is why I think there's a decent chance it's a negotiating ploy and little more.
The sooner the lockout gets resolved, the more likely it is that ownership will get a deal that favors them considerably (as opposed to one that favors them only a bit). If the league can build critical mass from its fans in favor of a resolution by teasing the possibility of a full season just weeks after it said it couldn't happen, then it'll do it. Eighty-two games is what everyone wants, so why not make everyone think it's a possibility to drive public opinion?
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Al Harrington tries and fails to eat the best cheeseburger ever made
Last weekend Denver forward Al Harrington tried and failed to eat a six-cheese type of burger featuring two pounds worth of ground beef amongst other accoutrements, and this is both a good and bad thing.
A good and not entirely inappropriate go-to joke during the lead-up and duration of this NBA lockout has asked us to guess at who will turn out to be the 2011 (or, more than likely, 2012) version of Shawn Kemp following this labor impasse. Kemp, if you'll recall, showed up for the 1999 season massively out of shape; and he wasn't alone. Some careers were never the same.
We've heard rumors about those who have let things go a wee bit this time around, with Chuck Hayes and Carmelo Anthony leading the calorie-cause, but only Denver Nuggets wing (and mid-level exception anti-poster boy) Al Harrington is doing things on record. The Jersey guy is doing his part to let us dieting and/or "can't mess with the hands" folk live vicariously through him during this lockout.
From Haute Living via The Basketball Jones:
On Saturday, Denver Nuggets player Al Harrington took the Bugsy Challenge at Burger Joint at Flamingo Las Vegas. The Bugsy Challenge consists of a burger with six one-third-pound burger patties, six types of cheese (American, cheddar, pepper jack, fresh house-made mozzarella, Swiss and panko-crusted deep-fried provolone), chorizo, saut�ed mushrooms, black and tan onion rings, three strips of applewood smoked bacon, three strips of cayenne peppered bacon and a fried egg, all oozing with Burger Joint's special pink peppercorn aioli.
This massive burger is accompanied by a cast iron skillet packed with two whole potatoes cut in wedges and deep fried, then smothered in cheddar cheese sauce, three-cheese blend, crumbled bacon, sliced green onions and topped with two strips of cayenne peppered bacon.
The full Bugsy Challenge weighs in at 4.5 pounds and is on the house for anyone who can finish it. Harrington was given 45 minutes to complete the challenge and unfortunately did not succeed.
Apologies for the criticism in a time where levity works best, but this is what I hate about each of these food challenges. I'm not going to remind people that there are people starving in Korea or that some animal had to leave a wasted life in a pen for the chance to be half-finished by a Denver tweener. Nah, if the massive burger is on the menu, then you throw yourself at it. With gusto.
But to panko-crusted provolone? First off, panko crumbs are fantastic, but why misuse a nuanced (if very popular) cheese like that? Why waste chorizo on a sandwich that is only going to taste of ground chuck? Why add that much cheese to something that no punter will taste? The potato wedges with the delicious pork-based protein, however fatty? Why isn't that an entree? What a waste. Geez, people. Appreciate your salty snacks.
Hardwood Paroxysm's Danny Chau has his own criticism for Al, and while he was apparently hesitant to get into the competitive eating criticism realm, this is what a lockout does.
Here's Danny's partial take on how Harrington could have pulled it off:
The burger's towering stature makes it fairly clear that the burger will have to be deconstructed for any kind of progress to be achieved. I suggest removing the pick/skewer from the burger and creating a burger with both top and bottom bun with the two (2) deep-fried elements seen in the top portion of the burger, and three (3) patties. The remaining patties, bacon, mushrooms, and whatever else is hiding should be left on the plate for later. This newly constructed burger is still fairly large, but it's a much more manageable portion. The onion rings will add some crunch to break the monotony of texture in the burger, while the fried provolone along with the fried egg (which hopefully has a runny yolk) will provide some moisture to help you ease into the groove of consumption.
The groove of consumption, maaaaaan.
(I've made it a few weeks without making a bad "Occupy" joke. Not going to start now.)
Better luck next lockout, Al.
(Photo courtesy Haute Living and the Las Vegas Flamingo.)
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Cavs forward Christian Eyenga to play in Spain during lockout
Posted on | Saturday, October 29, 2011 | No Comments
Christian Eyenga has become the second Cavalier to sign with an overseas club during the NBA lockout. A third Cav could be right behind him.
Eyenga agreed to a deal with the Spanish side Joventut Badalona, according to a tweet from his agent Andy Miller. The swingman can return to the Cavaliers once the NBA work [...]
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LeBron James, other stars bail on world tour
Posted by Ben Golliver.
It sounded too good to be true, didn't it?A full galaxy of NBA stars travelling the globe to bring basketball to all corners of the Earth during the biggest hoops drought in a decade?As recently as a few hours ago, plans were reportedly all set for Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, LeBron James, Chris Bosh, Carmelo Anthony, Amar'e Stoudemire, Chris Paul, Derrick Rose, Russell Westbrook and a host of other NBA stars to make a six-game tour that would have included stops in Puerto Rico, England and Australia.
Michael Jordan Jerry Lucas Karl Malone Moses Malone Pete Maravich
NBA superstars World All-Star Classic implodes
Posted by Ben Golliver.
A much-ballyhooed world basketball tour featuring an array of NBA superstars clung to life this week, before ultimately succumbing to a merciful death on Friday afternoon.Just hours after labor negotiations between the NBA and the National Basketball Players Asssociation broke down, multiple reports surfaced that the World All-Star Classic, an exhibition game featuring 14 NBA stars set to be played in Puerto Rico this Sunday, would be cancelled. Yahoo reported that this weekend's game was cancelled because "organizer can't deliver players." ESPN.com reported that the game in Puerto Rico has been indefinitely postponed. 
Jerry West Lenny Wilkens James Worthy Kareem Abdul Jabbar Nate Archibald
Create-a-Caption: ?I got it, right? It?s gone?? ?Nope, it?s still there?
Come on, LeBron James. You know good and well that Carmelo Anthony wiped the sun dried tomato cream cheese from that bench bagel off his upper lip like five minutes ago. And you definitely know how self-conscious he is about having shmootz on his face in front of all these people at the U.S. Fleet Tracking Basketball Invitational exhibition game in Oklahoma City.
Kevin Durant's mom's here, dude! She's going to be mad if she finds out you're being a jerk. Plus, not lying to your friends is, like, the first thing on the list of True Friendship Factors from "The O'Reilly Factor for Kids." Just be nice and live by Bill O'Reilly's edicts like you're supposed to, OK? Jeez.
Best caption wins a wet-nap, because you've got something right ... no, not there ... to the left ... almost ... yep, you got it. Good luck.
In our last adventure: Goodnight bus. Goodnight moon. Goodnight J.R. Smith jumping over the moon.
Runner-up, Solomon Grundy: Billy Hunter's latest lockout survival strategy: Player hibernation.
Second runner-up, IndeedProceed: "What do one-dimensional scorers dream of, when they take their little one-dimensional scoring snooze? Do they dream of never passing to anyone? Or scoring 20+ even when they lose?"
Kareem Abdul Jabbar Nate Archibald Paul Arizin Charles Barkley Rick Barry
Video: Joe Smith goes head-to-head with a talking pumpkin
The headline should make it abundantly clear that this video makes no sense. Joe Smith, NBA veteran and fairly talented rapper, sits next to a pumpking who talks in the "Clutch Cargo" style. The pumpkin insults him. There is also canned laughter.
We need basketball back badly. If this video is any indication, we are all going insane.
(Via TBJ)
Oscar Robertson David Robinson Bill Russell Dolph Schayes Bill Sharman
Lakers hire Darvin Ham as assistant coach
The Los Angeles Lakers have hired Darvin Ham as an assistant coach it was announced today by Lakers General Manager Mitch Kupchak.
?I?m very happy to have Darvin join our coaching staff,? said Lakers Head Coach Mike Brown. ? I?ve known Darvin since his rookie year in Denver and have watched him make the transition from [...]
Pete Maravich Kevin McHale George Mikan Earl Monroe Shaquille O Neal
Bonner on Stern: He's lying about certain things
Posted by Royce Young
The tone coming from the players' side of things changed drastically when last week's talks with the federal mediator fizzled out. Derek Fisher did his best to start that by announcing the media was lied to by Adam Silver and Peter Holt following negotiations. Both sides though are proliferating their own "truths" that the other quickly disputes. Most recently, after Billy Hunter talked about a proposal made by Mark Cuban, the league refuted that saying it was actually something presented by the union. Keep up with this crap is kind of hard to do. And I thought politics were bad. 
Scottie Pippen Willis Reed Oscar Robertson David Robinson Bill Russell
Cavs forward Christian Eyenga to play in Spain during lockout
Christian Eyenga has become the second Cavalier to sign with an overseas club during the NBA lockout. A third Cav could be right behind him.
Eyenga agreed to a deal with the Spanish side Joventut Badalona, according to a tweet from his agent Andy Miller. The swingman can return to the Cavaliers once the NBA work [...]
Wilt Chamberlain Bob Cousy Dave Cowens Billy Cunningham Dave DeBusschere
Allen Iverson wants back in the league, any way
Posted on | Friday, October 28, 2011 | No Comments
By Matt Moore
Pride goeth after the fall, apparently, and after the Answer, as it turns out. Two years ago, Allen Iverson signed on with the Memphis Grizzlies for less than a month before his ego and attitude got him booted. The Grizzlies went on to have one of their better seasons in franchise history, setting up this year's playoff run. Iverson, on the other hand, went to Turkey the following year, but again, wound up pulling out after personal problems derailed him. He suffered through a severe illness with his daughter, and also started the process of divorcing his wife. So, no, it has not been a great couple of years for A.I.. But Iverson's back in the states, putting together an All-Star exhibition in Las Vegas, and as part of its promotion, he's also talking about how he wants back in the league. He spoke with Yahoo! Sports and wanted to let the world know that he's past the point of thinking he deserves anything. He just wants a spot, any spot, with any team. 
Billy Cunningham Dave DeBusschere Clyde Drexler Julius Erving Patrick Ewing
More anecdotes spill out from Jerry West?s new memoir
From serious and startling issues like his lifelong battle with depression, frustrating issues like the anxiety that marked his career as a player, coach and executive, and "come on, get over it, guys"-issues like his battle with former Lakers coach Phil Jackson, the hubbub around Jerry West's new biography has our antenna up. We haven't purchased the book to review, yet, but it's not as if we have a lockout's amount of time waiting for us to fill up, do we?
More anecdotes, both from the book and otherwise, keep popping up. Like the ones the Memphis Commercial Appeal's Ronald Tillery relayed on Wednesday. West ran the Memphis Grizzlies from 2002 until 2007, a fact many of the press recaps of his career forget as they jump from his time with the Lakers (which ended in 2000), to his recent hiring by the Golden State Warriors.
Here's Tillery's pull from West's book:
Although West enjoyed Elvis-like status during his stay -- police once stopped traffic to allow him to cross Union Avenue -- he says "unsettling things happened too."
West became the object of at least two stalkers, which forced him to hire a security guard.
"One woman even went so far as to buy a wedding dress for the happy life she envisioned we would have together," West wrote.
Yikes. On a happier note, I suppose, was this bit about onetime Grizzlies coach Mike Fratello:
"The problem I had with Mike Fratello had to do with the type of offense he wanted the team to run -- a very slow, controlled game -- and I tried to tell him that he needed to reconsider this," West wrote. "I warned him, 'Everyone is killing me, Mike. The agents with players' complaints, the fans, the press. This is not what we should be doing.' But Mike was very stubborn; he was convinced that his approach was correct."
Ah, come on guy.
Mike Fratello's teams (starting in his final season with the Cleveland Cavaliers in 1999, and working backwards) finished 25th (out of 29 teams), 17th, 29th, 27th (out of 27 teams) and 26th in Pace Factor. That's heading into his first year with the Grizzlies. Outside of Doug Collins, the man might be the slowest coach of the modern era, and even Doug has had some spring to his team's step through the years. That's not a shot at Mike, who is fantastic; but when you hire Mike Fratello (even in 2005) you know you're getting a coach who is going to walk the ball up the court.
(Hiring the 32-year-old Damon Stoudamire and the doesn't-matter-how-old-he-was Chucky Atkins to run the show at point guard heading into 2005-06 didn't help, either.)
It should be pointed out that West had the biggest hand in Memphis' initial playoff runs, even if he inherited Pau Gasol and Shane Battier upon coming to Tennessee in late April of 2002. Still, THIS IS NOT THE POINT! THEY STOPPED TRAFFIC FOR THIS MAN!
On a much, much nicer note is this warming interview with Fox Sports West's Joe McDonnell:
"A wonderful example came in 1993, when West traded Sam Perkins ? one of his favorite Lakers ever ? to Seattle for Doug Christie and Benoit Benjamin. He was nearly distraught when I talked with him a few minutes before he appeared as a guest on my radio show.
"Perkins is one of the best guys we've had come through here, and believe me, this isn't a trade I wanted to make," West said. "I just think it's going to make us better in the future. And please do me a favor, say nice things about Sam; he's really down about this. He doesn't want to go. You can rip me to shreds; I understand those things and you have a job to do. But please take care of Sam."
(He should have had someone tell him to "please take care of Doug," but this, again, is not the point.)
What a life. More stories, please. Gotta get that book.
David Robinson Bill Russell Dolph Schayes Bill Sharman John Stockton
Two with good hoop knowledge try to explain where all the NBA?s money went
Starting with the uncounted third way -- don't pay attention to me, or most other punters attempting to play economist while they prattle on about the numbers behind a sport that they care about. There are exceptions in the NBA blogosphere realm, but I mean that. I have a fair idea as to what I'm talking about regarding this lockout, but at the end of the day I'm revealed as a hopeless mug. Were this a typical late-October Thursday, I'd be telling you about what the Sacramento Kings should be doing with their backcourt, and not their cooked books.
The other ways? You can listen to those who are biased and have an agenda to serve (two different things, if we're honest), or those that know what they're talking about.
NBA union employee and MacArthur Foundation genius grant winner Kevin Murphy is a renowned economist, to say the absolute least, and bias might play a role in his take on the NBA's ongoing lockout because of his work with the NBA Player Association. His take, I'm sorry, is too insightful to ignore; much less dismiss outright. Murphy knows what he's talking about, and he doesn't really need this gig in order to prove his acumen.
NBA.com, in an admirable show of journalistic integrity, allowed the venerable Steve Aschburner to interview Murphy and post his expertly positioned rants against the NBA owners and how badly they've gone wrong. We'll post parts of the interview, but even if you're not out for NBA owner blood this is an utter must-read beyond what we'll post. Please follow up, starting with this take from Murphy:
I would say the primary disagreement is not over the accounting numbers. It's what you include and how you interpret the numbers. For example, the accounting picture of the NBA isn't very different from what it was five years ago or 10 years ago in terms of ratio of revenues to costs and all the rest -- it's changed very little. Which immediately tells you, wait a minute, if the underlying financial picture is similar today to what it was five years ago or 10 years ago, and people are paying $400 million or whatever for franchises, and you're telling me that these things lose money every year, something's missing, right? These people aren't stupid, right? These guys are worth billions of dollars. So why did they pay all this money for franchises that, it looks like, lose money?
Well, the answer is pretty clear. There are a couple of things that are really attractive. One is, historically, you've seen franchises appreciate in value and that appreciation has more than outstripped any cash-flow losses that you've had. And if you're in the right tax position, it's actually pretty good because you've got a tax loss annually on your operating and you've got a capital gain at the end that you accumulate untaxed until you sell it and then pay at a lower rate. So you get a deferred tax treatment on the gains and an immediate tax treatment on the losses, that's not a bad deal.
[?]
But who bought anything in '07 that they're happy with the price they paid? If you bought a house in '07, if you bought stocks in '07, if you bought bonds in '07 -- I don't care what you bought, you're not happy with the price you paid. When you buy at the top, you don't make your money. That's not unique to the NBA, that's everywhere in life. But by and large, NBA franchise ownership has been a good investment. You can't base long-run projections on how you did in the biggest financial downturn of the last 50 years. On that basis, there are no good investments out there. But we know that's not true."
On the flip side of this, more toward my realm of unknowing, is Paul Shirley barely housing his contempt for those he used to share a locker room with, at the Wall St. Journal. Yeah, that forum doesn't sound right to us, either.
Paul is using big words again, feebly attempting to hide his utter and abject disdain for those he was apparently forced to commiserate with under the guise of pulling the covers off a subject we'd never considered. I mean, NBA players are terrible at saving money? You mean J.R. Smith isn't playing in China because of a deep-seated love of pro basketball?
The idea that NBA players are better prepared this time around is, for the most part, poppycock. The passage of 13 years has not turned NBA players into CPAs. When this year's lockout ends, it will probably be for the same reason as the last one: On average, NBA players are not particularly good with money, and NBA owners know this.
[?]
Most people assume that pro athletes are lousy with money because they're stupid. Some professional athletes aren't very smart, and some of the time, this leads to horrendous financial decisions. But stupidity isn't what usually drives sportsmen to the poorhouse, or, in the case of team leagues, back to the bargaining table during a work stoppage. The trait that causes most NBA players to burn through their savings is the same trait that allows them to become NBA players in the first place: an almost unlimited capacity for irrational behavior.
Readers and even friends and family sometimes take me down for the way I attempt to stave off ennui while I put fingers to keyboard using rhetoric typically unread during their usual trolls through the Internets. The problem, and it is a big problem (especially in the smart-aleck circles I tend to run in) is that I actually talk this way. I'm that weird. Does anyone believe that Paul Shirley actually speaks as he writes?
Geez, what a ponderous mess. It's no news that NBA players aren't that much better off when it comes to saving scrills as compared to the last extended lockout in 1998, but Shirley somehow tops me in terms of haughtiness, and that's like beating Steve Kerr in a 3-point shootout. He's not wrong, in most of his points, but with the abject lack of respect that he's earned following his (of its time, groundbreaking; I suppose) breakthrough as an ex-NBA blogger in 2005, he has to do a lot better to convince us. And perhaps use words that he actually says out loud, in actual conversations. I'd start with losing "poppycock."
Apologies for losing the bit, as I attempt to run. Just trying to keep it real, compared to nonsense.
Scottie Pippen Willis Reed Oscar Robertson David Robinson Bill Russell
Two with good hoop knowledge try to explain where all the NBA?s money went
Starting with the uncounted third way -- don't pay attention to me, or most other punters attempting to play economist while they prattle on about the numbers behind a sport that they care about. There are exceptions in the NBA blogosphere realm, but I mean that. I have a fair idea as to what I'm talking about regarding this lockout, but at the end of the day I'm revealed as a hopeless mug. Were this a typical late-October Thursday, I'd be telling you about what the Sacramento Kings should be doing with their backcourt, and not their cooked books.
The other ways? You can listen to those who are biased and have an agenda to serve (two different things, if we're honest), or those that know what they're talking about.
NBA union employee and MacArthur Foundation genius grant winner Kevin Murphy is a renowned economist, to say the absolute least, and bias might play a role in his take on the NBA's ongoing lockout because of his work with the NBA Player Association. His take, I'm sorry, is too insightful to ignore; much less dismiss outright. Murphy knows what he's talking about, and he doesn't really need this gig in order to prove his acumen.
NBA.com, in an admirable show of journalistic integrity, allowed the venerable Steve Aschburner to interview Murphy and post his expertly positioned rants against the NBA owners and how badly they've gone wrong. We'll post parts of the interview, but even if you're not out for NBA owner blood this is an utter must-read beyond what we'll post. Please follow up, starting with this take from Murphy:
I would say the primary disagreement is not over the accounting numbers. It's what you include and how you interpret the numbers. For example, the accounting picture of the NBA isn't very different from what it was five years ago or 10 years ago in terms of ratio of revenues to costs and all the rest -- it's changed very little. Which immediately tells you, wait a minute, if the underlying financial picture is similar today to what it was five years ago or 10 years ago, and people are paying $400 million or whatever for franchises, and you're telling me that these things lose money every year, something's missing, right? These people aren't stupid, right? These guys are worth billions of dollars. So why did they pay all this money for franchises that, it looks like, lose money?
Well, the answer is pretty clear. There are a couple of things that are really attractive. One is, historically, you've seen franchises appreciate in value and that appreciation has more than outstripped any cash-flow losses that you've had. And if you're in the right tax position, it's actually pretty good because you've got a tax loss annually on your operating and you've got a capital gain at the end that you accumulate untaxed until you sell it and then pay at a lower rate. So you get a deferred tax treatment on the gains and an immediate tax treatment on the losses, that's not a bad deal.
[?]
But who bought anything in '07 that they're happy with the price they paid? If you bought a house in '07, if you bought stocks in '07, if you bought bonds in '07 -- I don't care what you bought, you're not happy with the price you paid. When you buy at the top, you don't make your money. That's not unique to the NBA, that's everywhere in life. But by and large, NBA franchise ownership has been a good investment. You can't base long-run projections on how you did in the biggest financial downturn of the last 50 years. On that basis, there are no good investments out there. But we know that's not true."
On the flip side of this, more toward my realm of unknowing, is Paul Shirley barely housing his contempt for those he used to share a locker room with, at the Wall St. Journal. Yeah, that forum doesn't sound right to us, either.
Paul is using big words again, feebly attempting to hide his utter and abject disdain for those he was apparently forced to commiserate with under the guise of pulling the covers off a subject we'd never considered. I mean, NBA players are terrible at saving money? You mean J.R. Smith isn't playing in China because of a deep-seated love of pro basketball?
The idea that NBA players are better prepared this time around is, for the most part, poppycock. The passage of 13 years has not turned NBA players into CPAs. When this year's lockout ends, it will probably be for the same reason as the last one: On average, NBA players are not particularly good with money, and NBA owners know this.
[?]
Most people assume that pro athletes are lousy with money because they're stupid. Some professional athletes aren't very smart, and some of the time, this leads to horrendous financial decisions. But stupidity isn't what usually drives sportsmen to the poorhouse, or, in the case of team leagues, back to the bargaining table during a work stoppage. The trait that causes most NBA players to burn through their savings is the same trait that allows them to become NBA players in the first place: an almost unlimited capacity for irrational behavior.
Readers and even friends and family sometimes take me down for the way I attempt to stave off ennui while I put fingers to keyboard using rhetoric typically unread during their usual trolls through the Internets. The problem, and it is a big problem (especially in the smart-aleck circles I tend to run in) is that I actually talk this way. I'm that weird. Does anyone believe that Paul Shirley actually speaks as he writes?
Geez, what a ponderous mess. It's no news that NBA players aren't that much better off when it comes to saving scrills as compared to the last extended lockout in 1998, but Shirley somehow tops me in terms of haughtiness, and that's like beating Steve Kerr in a 3-point shootout. He's not wrong, in most of his points, but with the abject lack of respect that he's earned following his (of its time, groundbreaking; I suppose) breakthrough as an ex-NBA blogger in 2005, he has to do a lot better to convince us. And perhaps use words that he actually says out loud, in actual conversations. I'd start with losing "poppycock."
Apologies for losing the bit, as I attempt to run. Just trying to keep it real, compared to nonsense.
Oscar Robertson David Robinson Bill Russell Dolph Schayes Bill Sharman